Have you ever found yourself waiting on a friend? Maybe you have encountered a group of friends through your children’s school, or through work or even at church and you felt you had an instant connection yet your phone is not burning up with calls and text inviting you to join in with their get togethers. Or maybe you have friends who you know you have connected with but you go a long time in between seeing each other and even though you send a text here and there just to say hello they never initiate contact and you begin to question why. Have you stressed over why you only have a select few friends to turn to with the really big stuff when other people seem to have a huge circle of friends?
I would like to be able to answer no to these questions but looking back over the past 25 years I have definitely felt all of these things at one time or another. The one thing I have realized over time is my feelings of rejection had a lot more to do with my own feelings of insecurity and self centeredness (I mean really who would NOT want to be my friend) than that of the other party. There have been times when I know my pouty attitude has definitely made being my friend unattractive.
The truth is all of us are different. I am not going to find a special connection with every single person I encounter nor should I expect every person I encounter to feel a special connection to me. Every one of us is going to go through seasons when friendship will take a back burner and the connections seem to fade away even with those we once felt close to. When you are in the midst of raising children and just trying to keep up with schoolwork and activities and feeding them on top of trying to stay attractive for your man on top of making sure your marriage still receives plenty of attention, friendships change. You begin to find friends who fit with your current season because their lives are similar to yours. There are marriages falling apart, career choices, changing values, differences in parenting and all of these things can cause your group of friends to change over time.
I am a social person and I thrive on relationships so of course I am going to be more apt to reach out. I have contact with several friends from high school, college and have had close friends along my journey who I love dearly and think about often but to be honest if I didn’t contact them every once in awhile I’m not sure they would ever make the effort. There was a time this would have really eaten away at me but sometimes the season they are in just doesn’t allow time or maybe they are waiting on a friend too. If it still makes my heart happy to reach out then why should I stop?
If you have struggled with any of these feelings, I challenge you to change your thinking from waiting on a friend to waiting on a friend. What?? Stop expecting someone to call you or invite you to lunch. Schedule a girls night, send an email, or better yet snail mail, or pick up the phone and give an old friend a call. You never know when it may be just what they need.
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace. – 1 Peter 4:8-10
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