I have a fly off the handle kind of temper. I’m not proud of it and I feel like I definitely am in more control than I use to be but I still have those times when I act completely irrational and typically one of my family members receives the brunt of it. This weekend it happened to be my husband.
Several years back I remember hearing a sermon that stuck with me about how our instinct is to judge ourselves on our intentions and judge others on their actions. When faced with a situation I usually try to apply this simple logic and determine if the person I’m about to go zero to 60 crazy on really set out with the intention to hurt me with their actions. Unfortunately more times than not when it’s one of my family members I react too quickly to apply any logic and become enraged to the point of just silliness often over something that is so ridiculous. This is seriously also when technology is not my friend as I sometimes (okay a lot of times) will send a scathing text message during my irrational outburst.
I always, always calm down very quickly and I absolutely always feel ridiculous when it’s over that I let something small cause me to lose my cool. I know that satan sees this weakness in me and even in the midst of my fit on Saturday I was thinking how happy he must be that I was losing it. Then as God always does, He sent me right to a spot where I would find this verse.
I thought it was ironic as well that the verse would be from James and my husband’s real name is James even though he goes by Keith. It really made me think about how I had overreacted. All I kept saying to him was he would have been so angry at me had I made the same choice he made but I was just trying to justify my response as he always keeps his cool. I know in my heart of hearts he did not set out with the intention to upset me. His actions did upset me but had I really taken the time to consider all the things I know to be true I would have known it was not his intention and I would have responded in a much more rational way.
I am so very grateful for a family who gets my crazy, irrational moments and still commit to loving me through it and giving me the grace to be myself even when it isn’t so graceful. I am grateful for a God who knows my weakness just as well as satan does and is always there to save me from myself if I am just willing to open my heart and soul to listen.
What are you grateful for today?
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