Smiling at Chaos – Let Go and Function in Your Home

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Do you ever find yourself smiling at the chaos?  I’ll admit chaos is not my favorite but I’ve learned to embrace the seasons as they may come.  My vision of chaos changed a bit after my oldest daughter unknowingly opened my eyes.
When Jordan was in high school she brought home a sampling of poetry she wrote for English class and casually tossed it aside.  As I was thumbing through the folder I came across the poem below.  Oh if you could have seen my face!  As I started reading I was tense, almost angry at the thought she saw our life as chaotic.  I mean, geez, I was killing myself trying to manage working full time and raising four kids, carpooling all over God’s creation for soccer and baseball while dragging a toddler and pre-schooler around.  All while trying to create a tranquil environment at home for them to thrive.  And then I got to the end of the poem and realized she did not see the chaos the same way that I did.  Go ahead, read along!
Chaos

They’re busy says the mess

Built up and hidden by bedroom doors

Laundry is a constant must says the dryer

Tired from all its running

Little ones are about whisper the crib and the dolls

They run wild scream the bright little toys

Disguising the living room floor

Trailing up and down the hall

Chaos, chant all the different things

Neatly put back not in their proper place

They’re happy anyway say all the pictures

Smiling back from the scrapbooks, the wall and the mantel piece

When Jordan & Riley were little I was so anal about the housework.  Everything had to be in place and the house had to be clean.  I spent so much of my free time straightening and cleaning and missing out on quality time with them.  Thank goodness once I had Dillon things became crazy enough I could no longer keep up.  I had to make a decision about what I could stand to let go and what had to be done.  I learned to close bedroom doors to avoid seeing the tornado left behind and only ventured in about twice a year with a trash bag to purge.  After finding clean and folded clothes in the dirty clothes hamper, I learned to let go of the laundry and showed gave instructions how to wash their own clothes.  If they chose to dig through the laundry basket for clean clothes, I let them.  Don’t get me wrong, there were things I never let go like a clean kitchen but realizing at some point  I just couldn’t do it “all” and stay sane was a turning point for me.

To remove all the chaos from my house would remove all these precious people from my world.  My idea of clean and theirs is never going to be the same!   Someday the house will be quiet and I will only have Keith to pick up after (he also has a different definition of clean) and it will be clutter free and organized and I will surround myself with pictures and memories that have nothing to do with chaos and everything to do with love.  I will look forward to the days when they all return (I hope) with big families of their own and we can make a big mess and not care one little bit about anything but creating memories.

Motherhood

As a mom and a wife I think I often worry so much about maintaining a functional household I often forget to actually function in the household!  It’s obvious the kids do not see the mess! Do I really want the one thing they remember about me to be my constant frenzy over the mess?  I still suck at this so many days and still lose my stuff sometimes but as with all things I am a work in progress.

Today, I am so grateful I have learned to smile back at chaos!

Parenting
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