Loving (Me) Unconditionally

I visited my mom this past weekend and she had this out as part of her Valentine decoration and it just cracked me up.  My first thought was oh my goodness what I wouldn’t give for some only child over confidence!  Ha!  

Unconditional Love

The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that being able to love yourself is a true gift.  Accepting yourself without constantly searching for someone else’s approval would be so incredibly freeing.  I think I have spent most of my life looking for someone to reassure me I was on the right track.  

None of us are perfect and while we should always be striving to be the best version of ourselves, that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to love ourselves the way God loves us.  While we are practicing giving grace to others maybe we should allow a little grace for ourselves.  

For those of you who know my mom and me, you know we are super close but to say we have different opinions is an understatement.  We are like opposite ends of the spectrum.  I don’t really “get” her most of the time and she pretty much thinks I’m crazy at times.  She is an only child and I am a typical oldest child.

The one thing we both have in common, however, is severe stubbornness. We both believe we are right….like ALL THE TIME!!  I cannot let anything go and neither can she. Often an argument can escalate extremely quickly. The next thing you know words have come out of my mouth that are definitely disrespectful to her and the whole time I know it’s happening and I JUST….CAN’T…STOP.

I have prayed a lot about this and tried to really figure out the trigger for me and what it always comes back to is my need to convince her I’m right in order to feel like I have her approval. Seeking her approval instead of searching for God’s approval has robbed her of my unconditional love and robbed me of being able to fully love myself.  No one is perfect and I am always going to have days where I am not proud of my actions but to rob myself of the grace God has offered only stands to lead me into a spiral that can lead nowhere fast.

At the end of the day, I know my mom is incredibly proud of me.  She has never once turned away from me regardless of the decisions I have chosen in life.  It is my weak spot to question whether that love is truly unconditional and satan knows that.  For now I am going to focus on letting God’s word lead my decisions and give myself grace on the days when I blow it.  

So Mom….if you are reading…..just know that the next time things start to derail if I start chanting “Jesus, Jesus” I’m really just working on loving me the way you love you!  

1 John 3:20 For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.

1 John 4:18  There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.