Weave Your Own Web

On a beautiful fall morning a few weekends back, I was enjoying a cup of coffee and catching up on reading on my back porch when I noticed this beautiful spider web spun in my neighbor’s yard. From where I sat the sun was shining on it just right and it looked so intricate and perfect.  I immediately rushed inside to grab my big camera as I was determined to capture this web in its splendor.  As I played with the shots at different angles to grab the light in different ways and look at it from different perspectives from my backyard, I began to think about how this web related to my life.

Inspiration - Weave Your Own Web
I seem to have spent most of my life in between feeling happy and feeling unfulfilled but never really content.  I would like to say I have “grown up” enough to never struggle with this now but I would only be fooling myself.  You see, just like I viewed this beautiful, perfect web in my neighbor’s yard, there are so many times that I catch myself beginning to let my thoughts wander over into my neighbor’s life that appears so much “more” than mine.
It starts out innocent enough in my mind, but as I dive deeper and deeper into the comparison between someone else’s life and mine, I am robbed of my chance to have real joy in the life that has been prepared for me.  All of those things about my husband that drive me batty come to the forefront and I fail to remember any of the things that make him the man I love.  Scary mom starts to show up and I begin to have expectations which are not realistic for my children.
Typically during this time I also begin to realize I have slacked off on my daily time with God and have stopped praying daily for others as well as myself.  All of these things are a recipe for disaster at our house and thankfully I’m much better at recognizing the signs and begin to work my way back to  “normal”.  Maybe as the spider was weaving his web he slacked off a little too and when looking closer at his web I see that it is not perfectly woven after all.

In my heart of hearts I know that God knew exactly what He was doing when He brought my husband into my life and while, oh my goodness we are from opposite universes when it comes to daily living, my husband feeds my soul in the ways I need it most.  I am not going to lie, I have some amazing kids. They all have slightly different personalities which has challenged me and led me to learn how to manage my feelings and responses.  I know they are all perfectly paired with me as their mom.  When I spend time with other children whom I did not give birth it becomes fully apparent that God sure knew how to pick mine perfectly for me and for that I am super grateful.

All this comparing can just get me deeper and deeper into a rut with friends as well.  I really have some days when I have to talk, literally out loud, to myself and remind myself over and over that this is MY life.  The one God planned but the one I am living based on the choices I made. When I start measuring myself against what my friends are doing or not doing I sometimes feel like that spider sitting back in the web just waiting for that bug to become trapped, wrapped up and smothered.  (Seriously, all out honesty here on this blog!)  Comparison can really lead you to an awful place of jealousy, resentment, bitterness and negativity and guess what?  Instead of being like the spider and sucking the life out of that little bug, you end up feeling smothered and all the joy is sucked right out of you!
Being a happy person other people truly love and count on is truly who I want to be and there is no room in that girl’s life to waste on being unfulfilled or discontented.  When I am filling my heart with Jesus there is so much less time to worry about how much better someone else is weaving their web.  This was the reading in my Jesus calling book one day this week and I just felt like it was truly placed there at just the right moment.  Don’t you love that?
People tend to think their circumstances determine the quality of their lives.  So they pour their energy into trying to control those situations.  They feel happy when things are going well, and sad or frustrated when things don’t turn out as they’d hoped.  They rarely question this correlation between their circumstances and feelings.  Yet it is possible to be content in any an every situation.  Put more energy into trusting Me and enjoying My Presence.  Don’t let your well-being depend on your circumstances.  Instead, connect your joy to My precious promises:  I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go.  I will meet all your needs according to My glorious riches.  Nothing in all creation will be able to separate you from My love. 
God knows what He is doing and my job is to open my heart and listen and spend my time weaving my own web.